Safer Sex for Women

Making your sex safer

Current research, though minimal, suggests that sex between women carries a very low risk of HIV transmission. However, there is no reason why other STIs cannot be passed on.

If you want to use an oral barrier to protect you and your partner, particularly if you or she gets coldsores and so could transmit herpes, use a dental dam.

Sharing sex toys can be risky. Do make sure that you use them with condoms or wash them thoroughly. Consider the risks and make a choice. It's your body, and it's your job to be informed.

Different forms of sex

• Touching and kissing are just what they say they are: responding to each other and exploring each others' bodies. risks
• Mutual masturbation is masturbating your partner and having her masturbate you; this can be part of foreplay or you can continue to orgasm. risks
• Oral sex is using your tongue and mouth to stimulate your partner's clitoris and vulva. The full name for this is cunnilingus. risks
• Fingering is using your fingers to stimulate the clitoris and labia (the lips of the vagina) and also using fingers to penetrate the vagina or anus. risks
• Fisting is the same as fingering the vagina or anus, except inserting more fingers, the rest of your hand, and perhaps a little arm. risks
• Rimming is the same idea as oral sex, but instead of stimulating the clitoris and labia, you stimulate the anus with your tongue. risks

• Sex toys come in many shapes and sizes, with batteries so they vibrate (vibrators) or without batteries (dildos). The accessories and ranges are too vast to list here. risks
  Some choose not to include sex toys when they have sex, as they feel that by responding to their partner and using their imagination, there is no need for a 'penis substitute'.

Whether you have any of these types of sex, or if you can think of 1001 other ways, it's important to remember that it's your body; be free to do whatever makes you and your partner happy, at the same time remembering that you can always say 'No'.

The Risks

• Touching and kissing are safe, although there is a possibility of HIV transmission if you have open cuts or sores. back
• Mutual masturbation is safe as long as no vaginal fluid gets into any sores or cuts. back
• Oral sex back
  There is a risk of HIV transmission, particularly if you have cuts or ulcers in your mouth.
  Tip: brushing your teeth can easily give you small cuts around your gums. If you may have oral sex, chew gum or use mouthwash instead.
  The virus herpes simplex causes cold sores and genital herpes - so if you have a cold sore your partner can catch herpes. Some women chose to use an oral barrier such as a dental dam: this is a small square of latex which forms a physical barrier and so stops transmission of STIs. It is also possible to use a cut up condom, although this is more fiddly. Other 'barriers' such as clingfilm haven't been designed to stop the transmission of STIs, and so they shouldn't be used in place of an oral barrier.
• Fingering is safe, although if it's forceful or your nails are sharp you could tear the skin inside or outside of the vagina or anus. If you prefer, use a latex glove, going slowly using lube. back
• Fisting is as safe as fingering in terms of STIs. However, as it's so invasive, it's more likely that you will damage the lining of the vagina or anus. Wear a latex glove if wanted, and use lots of lube, going slowly and carefully. back
• Rimming carries a risk of infection, though it is unlikely that HIV will be transmitted. It's best to use an oral barrier, such as a dental dam. back
• Sex toys back
  When swapping between partners either unroll a fresh condom onto the toy or wash it in hot soapy water to avoid the mixing of bodily fluids.